Bracing the Blue Line Page 2

  She takes a deep breath, but ends up mumbling, “Boys are stupid.”

  Laughing, I tell her, “That's the best you got? Stupid? Wouldn't idiotic jerks sound better? Or what about insensitive jackasses? Or should we go with something like, boys are mindless morons who don't know how to keep a girl happy? I thought you were more imaginative than that, Maddie.”

  That makes her smile. “Are there any guys who actually know how to keep a girl happy?” She cuts her eyes over at me, probably remembering that I failed her too.

  “Only a few.” I pause, wondering if I should ask, but then decide I should. “Are you okay? I mean, you're not going to burst into tears, are you?”

  Maddie laughs, shaking her head. “No, I'm not. He didn't do anything worthy of tears. I ended up here because my boyfriend broke up with me over something stupid, and my roommate decided to lock me out for a couple hours. I went back to the bar, saw your teammates, and thought we could go ahead and catch up. Neil showed me the way, so here I am.” She slips off her shoes, turns to face me, and sits with her legs crossed in front of her.

  “I was about to go to bed,” I point out.

  She seems to think about that before she says, “Well, isn't there some sort of rule that you should be extra nice to me because of Dave?” There's no bitterness with his name, no mention of what we once were. Like we didn't ever happen.

  I force a chuckle. “Maybe when we were younger, but not anymore.”

  “Oh, c'mon, Winston. I thought we were friends too. Humor me. Please,” she pleads. Maddie decides to not wait for a response. “How's hockey? Looks like you're doing well, considering you're on the team and all. I didn't know you wanted to play after high school. Do you want to try for the NHL?”

  “Don't we all? That's the ultimate dream, to play professionally. I'd love to be good enough for the Olympics one day too. Hockey is good, though. The game tonight is one reason why I was about to go to bed.”

  Maddie rolls her eyes at my feeble attempt to get her to leave. “I don't know how you do it. I've been ice skating before, and I'm more likely to fall flat on my ass, much less try to play a game.”

  I raise an eyebrow at her, reaching over to steal my beanie back from her hands and put it back on my head. “Since when do you have such a vulgar mouth?” This is what I really want to know. “And since when do you go to bars and make out in public? I told Dave I saw you in a bar, and he thought you saw me and only went in to say hi.”

  “He would,” she laughs. “A cuss word here and there doesn't mean I have a vulgar mouth either. Are you really that surprised?” Why does she pick and choose when to acknowledge what happened? It's driving me crazy and confusing me on how I should respond.

  “I guess not. It's just that all Dave has ever said about you is that you're like an angel, and that was all I could think about. How he would be stunned to see you tonight. I mean, Dave is the bad apple, so to speak. He's the one who needed rules, and you were the responsible one. Don't know if I'd go as far as to say you were an angel, though.”

  Maddie smiles. “I feel like I have everyone fooled without even meaning to. Not sure how they all came to that conclusion about me.”

  “Then how come they never saw this side of you? You weren't as...proper, I guess, around me.”

  “I don't know. Maybe because I know how they expect me to behave, so when I'm around them, that's how I behave.”

  I nod, satisfied with her answer. “Why did you decide to come here for school?”

  She shrugs. “It's a great school with great programs. I think my parents were hoping I'd go to the same university as Dave, but I didn't want to. They think I'm naïve, don't they? That's what it feels like sometimes when they talk to me.”

  Dave thinks she is. I've heard him say it plenty of times before. “I don't know,” I lie.

  Maddie seems to accept my answer. “Do you like it here? The school and all, I mean?”

  “Yeah. There's a lot of good people here, and I have a great coach.”

  “What about a girlfriend? I know Dave has his string of girls. Someone isn't going to barge in here and be disappointed when they see you have company, are they?”

  I laugh. “No. Lost the girlfriend over the summer, and your brother doesn't have a string of girls. He has a girlfriend at the moment.”

  She seems to think about something, but when she speaks again, it's about hockey. “How did you ever start playing anyway? You never told me.”

  I smile and a large sense of gratitude washes over me. “For my fifth birthday, Dad took me to a game. That was my introduction to hockey, and I was hooked. I begged my parents for weeks to start me on lessons, but we lived in this small ass town, and there weren't any rinks nearby. Mom said I threw a tantrum when they told me I couldn't, and I gave them the silent treatment. A couple of weeks later, I remember Mom and Dad sitting me down.

  “They said that if I really wanted to play, I could, but we would have to move, and I would have to give up my friends. I didn't care. I wanted to learn how. Turns out, my dad asked for a transfer at work to move closer to a city where I could learn. Three months later, we moved. As I got older, I realized how much my parents gave up, just so I could play, even when I was a five year old brat. Haven't stopped since.”

  Maddie smiles. “That's when you moved in next to us?”

  “Yeah, you were three, so I doubt you remember that. Now, I just want to be a good enough player to make them proud and know their sacrifices were worth it.”

  “I'm sure you have done that already, Winston.” She stops, but adds, “I feel selfish, you know.”

  “How so?” I couldn't see her being selfish, but what do I know?

  “Your parents did all that for you and you want to make sure you do your best because of it. I, on the other hand, tend to do the opposite of what they want for me or what they think I should want for myself. Not all the time, but often enough. I just try to ignore their dreams. I mean, I have to make sure that it's what I want first. After hearing that, it makes me feel selfish.”

  I nudge my knee against her thigh. “That doesn't make you selfish, Maddie.” It's almost like we're back to being us, but there's still an awkwardness between us whether she accepts it or not.

  She takes a deep breath and nods. “I guess I should let you go to bed now. Thanks for letting me come by.” Maddie starts to stand to leave.

  “How do you plan on getting back?” I ask. Dave would kill me if I let his baby sister catch a bus back to campus this late at night. Hell, I wouldn't want her to leave this late, but I can't very well say that in those words.

  “My car. I followed Neil here.”

  Damn it. I'm screwed either way. “Why don't you crash here tonight? I can sleep on my couch.” I lift my chin in the direction of where it sits across the room from my bed. It's old and probably needs to be replaced, but it sleeps pretty well.

  Maddie glances at the piece of furniture and then back to me. “It's okay, Winston. You don't have to make a big fuss about this. I'll be fine.”

  “Dave would murder me if I let you leave this late at night. Don't argue. Stay and say thanks.”

  I watch as she debates it in her mind for a moment before she agrees. “Thanks, but you don't have to sleep on-”

  “Don't be ridiculous,” I interrupt. Standing, I walk to my little closet and pull out some blankets. I ask her to toss me a pillow and begin making a makeshift bed. Maddie excuses herself to the bathroom and once I've finished with the couch, I get comfortable.

  She comes out, but stays near the door. “Um, I hate sleeping in jeans. It's like the most aggravating thing ever. Do you have something I could wear?”

  “Seriously? I'm like a foot taller than you, Maddie.”

  “Shut up, and find me something. A t-shirt, gym shorts, anything. Or I'll leave.” She folds her arms over her chest, knowing that she has me right where she wants me.

  Huffing, I walk over to my dresser. Maddie softly laughs over her achievement,
and I shoot her a mean look. I shuffle through the clothes and glance at her figure a few times. No way in hell any of my shorts will stay on her hips, even with help from the drawstrings. Her waist is too tiny.

  “You're fucking compact, Maddie. I could probably stuff you in my suitcase. Looks like it'll be a shirt.”

  As I toss her one, she says, “If you were ever online, you'd know that they call people like me fun-sized now.”

  I burst out laughing. All I can picture in my head is a little bar of Snickers and comparing that to Maddie. She mumbles something under her breath as she returns back to the bathroom to change. I go back to the couch and lay down, rolling over to face the wall. Seeing Maddie in only a t-shirt isn't something I want to see.

  Even if she does look good.

  Her soft footsteps make their way across the room as I listen to her climb into my bed and get comfortable. Right before she clicks off the lamp next to my bed, she says softly, “Night, Winston. Thanks for letting me stay.”

  “Night, and you're welcome.”

  The light goes off, and we're thrown into darkness. I close my eyes and attempt to ignore she's here until I fall asleep.

  THE FIRST THING I notice as I awaken is a female body against me. One bare leg is thrown over my waist, and I can feel bent arms pressed against my chest. Hot air hits just above them in even intervals. The leg tightens around my waist, pulling the body closer to me, and my dick hardens as she brushes against me. I glide my hand down her back, my fingers hitting the soft fabric of her panties thanks to her shirt being hiked up.

  Wait.

  There's a girl in my bed?

  My eyes pop open, and I look down to see Maddie's blonde hair. Fuck! Faintly, I can remember that I slept like shit on the couch, kept waking up, and decided that I would sleep in my own bed. I thought we would be able to stay on separate sides of the bed, but I guess not. Shit, this is bad. There's no way to get away with her wrapped around me like this. I slowly move my hand off her bottom and up to her back. For a moment, I'm distracted by her sleeping position. I mean, her leg is wrapped around me. Who the hell sleeps like this?

  Focus, Winston! You're in bed with your best friend's baby sister, your secret ex-girlfriend, and she gave you a fucking hard-on! Maddie stirs next to me, and my eyes quickly close. That's the best thing I can think to do. The scent of coconut floats by my nose, probably from her shampoo. It sort of reminds me of the beach. Damn it, I need to stop thinking like this.

  Her leg falls away from my waist, and I figure she's still asleep when she doesn't say anything or make a move to get away from me, so I open my eyes to decide on how to get out of this bed. Only, a set of hazel eyes are squinting at me in confusion.

  “What are you doing?” she whispers curiously. “Why are you cuddling with me?”

  “I'm not-” I start.

  “That's what it feels like,” Maddie interrupts.

  “My point was that it's not a me thing. I'm not. We are. But, uh, I wasn't sleeping well on the couch, so I got back into my bed.” For some reason, I feel like if I emphasize that it's my bed, then it'll somehow be her fault for being in it in the first place.

  “Oh, well that makes sense. But why are we still laying here like this?”

  Right. Maddie scoots back away from me as I roll over and then move to the couch.

  “Sorry,” I offer.

  “It's no big deal. I did invade your room last night. I'll just get dressed and head on back.” She slides out of bed, holding my shirt close to her thighs so she doesn't show too much. It's kind of useless because of how long it is anyway.

  Maddie disappears into my bathroom with her clothes. I lean forward and bury my face in my hands. Please tell me that this is all a dream, and I wasn't momentarily attracted to her. Again. It's morning, and I was half sleep, so it doesn't matter, right? Maddie probably has had her fill of catching up, so I won't have to worry about it anymore. Just because we have a past and just because she's grown into a more gorgeous girl than before doesn't mean I'm about to act on it. I messed up, ruined things for us, and I won't do it again.

  “Winston?”

  I lift my head to see her standing directly in front of me.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” I reply, rubbing my eyes a little. “Still a little tired, I guess.”

  She laughs. “I'm going to head back. Thanks, again.” Maddie gives me an innocent kiss on the cheek in gratitude before heading towards the door. She opens it, but turns around before walking out. “Do you have a game tonight? I'd really like to see you play at least once. I feel bad that I've never seen you play.”

  I shake my head in affirmation. “Get there at six to get a good seat.”

  And just like that, Maddie leaves. God damn it. I lean back onto the couch and glare at my crotch, where my dick wants to come out and play. Thank God Maddie didn't notice. I'd be in deep shit trying to explain that. This was a one time thing, no big deal. Groaning, I get up to take a cold shower. It's going to be a long fucking day. I can ignore a gorgeous girl, especially when she's Dave's little sister and the girl I hurt so badly three years ago.

  GRANT, WINSTON, BO Harris, and I all live off campus together in a house my parents used to rent out. Once I decided to come here for college, they said that I could live here if I wanted to. Of course I did. I invited the guys to live with me too. Grant and Winston just left, one off to study, the other to the gym, so when there's a knock on the door, I'm half expecting it to be one of them for some reason. Instead, I answer the door to a Hispanic girl in sweats and a hoodie that are entirely too big for her. Her dark brown hair is in a ponytail, and she seems extremely nervous. She kind of looks familiar too, but I can't place her face.

  “Can I help you?” I ask, an uneasiness forming in my stomach the more anxious she looks.

  Her shoulders sag with disappointment. “You don't remember me, do you?”

  Uh, oh. That probably means I've fucked her before. I shake my head. “Do you have any piercings, tattoos, or birthmarks to jog my memory?” I'm actually trying to be helpful, even if it doesn't sound like it. She obviously wants me to remember her, and that's my way of helping.

  She doesn't like what I said, though. Her jaw tenses right before she sighs and turns around. Mystery girl lifts her shirt just high enough to show me her tramp stamp of a bunch of flowers. Slowly, the memories come back. I slept with her at the end of last semester. We were at a party, and I ended up spending twenty four hours with her, drinking, having sex, and sleeping. I can't believe I forgot about her.

  “Right,” I nod, wondering why the hell she's here. Her face hardens as I ask, “What's your name again?”

  “Audra Garcia.”

  How could I forget a name like that? I probably didn't ever ask her what her name was or I was too drunk to remember when she did say it. “Can I help you, Audra?” I repeat.

  “It's probably best if I go ahead and spit this out, isn't it?”

  I nod, although I don't know what 'this' is. Audra grabs the hem of her hoodie and lifts to show me a little, swollen, light brown stomach. That can only mean one thing. It instantly sends pings of pain to my heart. No, this can't be happening. I stare at her belly until she lowers her shirt, forcing my eyes back to hers. My heart is beating so fast I wonder if I might faint. I'm feeling quite lightheaded, and I'm not so sure I have legs anymore.

  “Could we go somewhere private to talk?” A rummaging sound comes from behind me, and Audra adds, “Preferably away from your friends?”

  “Bo!” I yell. God, do I need my best friend and left winger right now. “Come in,” I tell Audra. “Trust me. You're going to want him here.”

  Reluctantly, she steps inside and follows me into the living room. She takes a seat on the couch while I begin to pace. Bo still hasn't come yet. What the hell is he doing?

  “Bo!” I yell louder.

  He strides into the living room, looking agitated about my interruption. It fades when he sees we have company. I kee
p pacing, unsure what will happen once I stop. This can't be real. I don't want it to be real. Things that are real bring only one thing.

  Pain.

  “What's going on, Neil?” Bo asks cautiously.

  “He's freaking out because I showed him I'm pregnant.”

  “Don't say it!” God, her saying it out loud just makes it worse.

  “Whether I say it or not, the fact is still the same,” she says evenly. Audra must be getting warm because she takes off her hoodie, leaving her in a white t-shirt.

  Bo stares at her stomach. No, this can't be right.

  “How far along are you?” I ask. There has to be a mistake. I'm not the father, surely.

  “Five months.”

  Shit. No, no, no. I can't be a dad. That's absurd. I don't need this. I can't have this happening. This is too much to handle, and I find myself blowing up at her with panic and unwanted memories surging forward. “How do you even know it's mine? I don't know you, and if you've slept with me, then you could be a fucking whore for all I know!”

  “Neil,” Bo warns. That's why he's here because I'm freaking the fuck out.

  Suddenly, Audra starts crying, burying her face in her hands. Shit. If there are two people I can't stand to see cry, it's old women and pregnant women. I look to Bo with a pained expression. He needs to help me. Bo shakes his head, and then nods towards Audra. He wants me to comfort her? Damn it!

  I sit down on the couch next to her and pat her back. I feel like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory when he says, “There, there.” After a deep breath, I do my best to make her stop crying.

  “Look, I'm sorry, Audra. Even though what I said is reasonable, I probably shouldn't have said it like that.”

  Bo glares at me, but Audra makes a mangled laugh sound. See? She appreciated my attempt.

  “Sorry, I've been a bit of an emotional mess.” Audra wipes away her tears. “If you want a paternity test, that's no problem. It is completely reasonable because I know how it might look, but it's yours. I wasn't sleeping with anyone, um, like six months before and then after,” she pauses with a glance at me, “I was ashamed when I slept with you, so I took a break from sex. Then I found out I was pregnant.”