Whatever It Takes (Bold As Love) Read online

  Whatever It Takes

  Lindsay Paige

  Wallace, NC, USA

  © 2012 by Lindsay Paige

  All rights reserved. Under no circumstances should the author find this book on a file sharing site or discover that a person has acquired this book from sources other than Amazon, Smashwords, Goodreads, or from the author herself. The only permission a reader has is to purchase this file and lend it as Amazon.com allows. Do the right thing and pay it forward.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and

  incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or

  used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living

  or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely

  coincidental.

  For information: http://lindsaypaigebooks.com/

  ISBN: 978-1475082951

  Printed in the United States of America.

  Acknowledgments

  I would like to thank my family for their support. A huge thanks to my fans who give me motivation to keep writing when I don't feel like doing so.

  I'm so glad that I decided to keep going and not let the series end. I love Jake and Emily so much that I couldn't bear to part with them and work with only new characters.

  May you enjoy the book.

  1

  Emily

  I’ve just left my exhausting job at a local coffee shop called Coffee Beans. I slide the key into the lock of our off campus apartment (thanks Dad and Mr. Benson) and hear the click as I turn it. I open the door and call out, “Jake?” as I walk in. His car is outside, so I know he’s home.

  “In here,” he calls from the bedroom.

  It’s about nine and he is probably exhausted. My poor love has hockey practice early in the morning and in the afternoon. Plus he has school, homework, and a job. I set my keys and purse on the kitchen counter as I pass it to go to the bedroom. Ah, there he is.

  My love is laying on the bed, leaning against the headboard, eyes closed. His hands are behind his head and his lean, muscular torso is shirtless. I walk quietly over and straddle him. Jake’s eyes pop open and he gives me that loving smile that says he is happy to see me.

  “Hey Sweetness.”

  His voice is low and husky. I lean down and give him a kiss.

  “Hey love. How was your day?”

  I run my hands over his chest.

  “It was okay. I’ll warn you, though. I might fall asleep while we’re talking. How was your day?”

  “Better not. My day has been tiring. Roll over,” I instruct as I move off of him. He does as I say and I straddle him once more. I knead my hands into his back and give him what is a much needed massage.

  “Mmm. You’re the best, you know that?”

  “I sure do.”

  Jake chuckles and closes his eyes as I continue running my hands over his back. After about thirty minutes, Jake is out like a light. I quietly move off him and walk over to our closet. Today marks four months since I lost the baby. I thought it would get easier, but every time I think about it, it’s just as bad as when it happened. I can’t not think about it. Standing on my tiptoes, I reach for the box that is hidden on the top shelf.

  I grab it and bring it down to me. In the living room, I sit Indian style on the couch. Slowly, I open the box. Inside is that super soft teddy bear and white onesie I bought for the baby. I never told Jake that I bought something for the baby. This is something for me. It was something for my baby. I hold the bear in my hands and feel the plush softness below my finger tips.

  With one hand, I clutch the bear to my chest as my other hand goes to my empty stomach. Having a baby right now would have been extremely hard, but losing the baby seems so much worse. I bite my lip in an attempt to stop the tears, but it’s no use. As I silently cry, I wonder if Jake even knows that today makes four months. He hasn’t mentioned anything. Every month since, we have done a little something in honor of the baby, but this time, we haven’t done anything.

  It hurts to think that Jake might have forgotten. How could he forget when I thought about it everyday? When I'm not busy doing something, I am thinking about my baby. I would be seven months pregnant. I set the bear down beside me and pick up the onesie. This was going to be a surprise for Jake. Written across the chest were the words, “I have the world’s greatest daddy.”

  “Sweetness?”

  I toss the outfit into the box and wipe my eyes. I turn to see Jake leaning in the doorway. His arms are crossed and I can’t help but admire him. His sweatpants were hanging low on his hips and I wanted nothing more than to run my fingers over them.

  “What ya got there?”

  “Nothing,” I reply turning back to my box. I grab the teddy bear and throw it into the box before closing it. Jake walks over and sits beside me. Quietly, he speaks.

  “Nothing, huh?”

  I nod as tears stream down my cheeks. Jake pulls me to him and whispers into my hair, “I didn’t forget Sweetness.” His lips kiss the top of my head.

  I clutch the box to me and ask the question that is always on my mind. “How am I supposed to move on without forgetting that it happened?”

  “By continuing to do what we are doing. Get our educations. Find a job. Make a life for ourselves. Once we do that, we can have a family.”

  I shake my head. The idea of having children terrifies me now. What if we lose another baby? What if it happens over and over? What if I get my hopes up, just for them to be destroyed every time I become pregnant? Each little creation of my love and I could die before we even get the chance to meet him or her. I can’t go through this again. Once was one too many.

  I don’t voice my concerns to Jake, because I don’t think he will understand. I’ll keep these worries to myself for now. Jake would be relieved to know that I no longer blame myself. As he said, it just wasn't meant to be.

  “I’m going to shower before I go to bed.” I stand and leave Jake behind. The box returns to its hiding spot on the top shelf behind a photo album. I walk over to our dresser and retrieve clean clothes.

  I go into our adjoining bathroom and start the water before mindlessly undressing and climbing into the shower. The scorching hot water pelting my skin lifts the heavy thoughts from my mind. I stay in the shower a bit longer than necessary. The sound of the water splashing on the tile floor covers up the noise of any crying.

  Dried off and dressed, Jake is already lying in bed. I climb in next to him and rest my head on his warm chest. He runs his fingers through my wet hair. “What’s your schedule like tomorrow, Sweetness?”

  “I have school, but I’ve got tomorrow off work. You?”

  “The usual. Practice, school, practice, work.”

  “We never have the same day off. The only time I see you is at night. I can’t even wake up and tell you good morning because you are already gone.” Am I whining? Just a little. What can I say? I miss my love.

  “I know, Sweetness. We’ll spend some time together this weekend. I don’t have to work. Do you?”

  “Yes,” I grumble, causing Jake to chuckle. I prop myself up on my elbow and look at him. His fingers are still tangled in my hair. I was going to make a comment about how much he laughs at me, but my gaze drops to those luscious lips and I forgot all about it. I lean down and kiss him. There’s demand and lust. So much lust. Jake’s hands leave my hair and make their way down my hips. Jake rolls on top of me and I melt from the heat and weight of his body.

  One thing is for sure. Jake isn’t very tired after that kiss. I would even go as far as saying that he is very alert.

  2

  Jake

  God, this girl drives me crazy.
One minute I’m exhausted and would like nothing more than to sleep and the next I’m devouring Emily like there’s no tomorrow. Her sleeping, naked body is cradled against me and my fingers are trailing a path up and down her arm. I can’t help but think about that box. I know it’s somewhere in our bedroom. I also know that whatever is in it has to do with the baby.

  I wish she would share that with me. But, I understand that sometimes Emily needs to handle it herself. I fall asleep wishing that I could take away all her pain from our loss. She has been doing well all things considered. To be sure, if she was having more trouble with this, she would talk to me about it. I'm her boyfriend and we're in love. To keep this relationship alive, communication is very important.

  If there's no communication, then what is a person to do? Read their mind? Impossible. I hope that Sweetness isn't covering up her feelings and that she is doing as well as she seems to be.

  My alarm’s shrill ringing wakes me up. I quickly turn it off and remove myself from the bed without waking Emily. Time for practice. I get dressed and quietly sneak out of the house. All of my gear is in my car. I head to the rink for two hours of practice.

  Practice is long and tough, as usual. but every second is welcomed. This is my chance to get away from everything. Practice allows me to sneak away from life and simply enjoy the sound of air rushing pass me, though I think of Emily constantly.

  I'm wishing for sleep as I sit in my class. The professor has one of those monotone voices that makes people sleepy as his voice drones on and on. Whoever thought that morning classes were a good idea was dead wrong. I rub my eyes and try to focus. I take notes and wish it was time for my next class.

  I haven't decided on a major yet, because my mind is always on hockey. I am going to make it in the NHL. I will. Drake would be so proud to have a brother in the NHL. I was not prepared for how much I would miss my always hyper and excited little brother. He calls every night between work and practice to tell me about his day. I’m pretty sure he calls Emily as well.

  Classes pass in a blur as I yearn for sleep. I grab a bite from Hardee’s before going home after practice. I walk through the house with sleepy eyes. Sitting down at the island, I eat before heading to the shower. Savoring the feeling of the water running down my body, the heat and steam from the water unties the knots in my body. The massage that Emily gave me comes to mind as I turn off the water and dry myself. Usually, I wouldn’t bother with pajama pants, but it’s chilly so I slip on a red pair and crawl into bed.

  It’s so much easier to fall asleep when Emily is here with me, but she’s working. However, today I am exhausted and with the flick of a switch, I am gone into a deep sleep.

  Around midnight, my eyes slowly open and I see Emily lying in front of me. Her back is to me and she’s laying in the fetal position. I was exhausted enough that I didn’t hear her come in. I frown at the thought that I haven’t even spoken with her today as I reach out and pull her to me. She rolls over and mumbles incoherently. I chuckle and kiss her forehead.

  “Wake up Sweetness,” I whisper.

  “No,” she half moans, half growls.

  “Please. I haven’t seen those brown eyes all day. I need my daily dose of Sweetness.”

  That earns me a smile. I love being the reason for her smile. It feels as if I just accomplished one of the world's impossible feats and my heart beats faster each time. She sneaks a glance and I cradle her face in my hands. Still speaking in a soft tone, I say, “How was your day?”

  “It was okay. Actually, no, it was hard. A woman came in today with the cutest little baby on her hip and ordered something. I couldn’t help but think…” her voice trails off.

  I go to speak, but she stops me. She inhales and says, “But the girls and Kyle made me feel better.”

  “You were with them today?”

  “Yeah. They stopped by the shop and I took my break to eat supper with them. How was your day?”

  “Good. I got some much needed sleep. I missed you, though.”

  She gives me another smile. Her face turns serious and she bites her bottom lip. “Do you ever feel like you are missing something?”

  “What do you mean,” I ask.

  “I don’t know. It’s just that sometimes I feel like even though I have you, Drake, and my dad that something is still missing from my life. I can’t figure out what it is, though.”

  I don’t feel as if I am missing anything from my life. Between Emily, Drake, and hockey, I had everything I could ever want. I love Emily so much and she brings a lot to our relationship. What more could I ask for?

  “No, I don’t. I have you. What could I be missing?”

  She bites her lip and burrows her face into the crook of my neck. Her eyes are giving my neck butterfly kisses as they flutter open before shutting again. Emily kisses my neck and whispers that she loves me.

  “I love you too, Sweetness.”

  Soon, her breaths come in even intervals. I think about the past year and how amazing it is that Emily has come all this way. But, with the loss of the baby, I think she took a small step backwards. Those days of doubt come more often and last a bit longer.

  I feel guilty when I realize that I haven’t thought about the baby in days. Emily must think about it every day. I can gaze into her eyes and know that she has. I was sad for our baby, but there is just so much going on that sometimes I don’t think about it. I mentally curse myself for calling my child “it.” All these thoughts swirl in my head so it’s four in the morning before I fall asleep.

  I have to wake up at five thirty.

  The smell of bacon and eggs drifts up my nose and arouses me awake. Glancing beside me, I see that Emily is missing from our bed. I get up and walk to the kitchen. There my Sweetness is, standing before the stove. Bacon is sizzling in the skillet and Emily’s hips are swinging to a tune she is quietly humming. I walk over and wrap my arms around her waist.

  “I wanted to see you before you left,” she answers the unspoken question.

  I kiss her neck and tell her, “Forget breakfast. Come back to bed with me.” She leans back into me and my lips move down her neck to her shoulder.

  “You realize it’s not even six, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  She leans forward, turns the burner off and I lead Emily back to our bed. I lift her shirt over her head and let my hands roam over the body that I know so well. I brush my lips over her jaw. Emily leans back on the bed and pulls me down with her. Her hands move over my shoulders and down my back. Her slightly sharp nails are trailing a path to my hips.

  I quickly finish undressing us both. All too soon, the bacon is cold and it's time for me to go.

  Practice is great. I’m energized and focused. My classes fly by and the second practice is even better than the first.

  “Good job today Benson,” Coach tells me with a pat on the back.

  “Thanks Coach.”

  I wish I could go home, but the job calls. I work with a construction supply store getting the supplies and loading them up for the clients. The job is pretty good though. Good pay and nice people to work with. Today, we were going to go out to one of the local bars that that didn't card us and have a few beers after work.

  I was relaxed and leaned back in the booth, drinking a beer. The guys all had girls in their laps and were joking around. My eyes widen slightly when I see Emily walk into the bar. She is with classmates that she met through one of her classes. Emily hasn’t noticed me yet so I observe her for a few minutes.

  Leaning on the counter towards the bartender, she throws him a smile, and orders.

  Excusing myself, I walk up behind Emily, wrap my arms around her and kiss her neck. She turns around in my arms and smiles at me.

  “You just getting here?”

  “No, I’ve been here for a bit.”

  “Why are you just now coming to me?”

  “I was watching you.”

  She rolls her eyes and turns to Kyle. She formally introduces me to her fri
ends. “Kyle, this is my boyfriend Jake. Jake, this is Kyle. He’s Hannah’s best friend.” She turns towards the girls. “This is Hannah and Abella,. Girls, this is Jake.”

  I shake each of their hands and then pull Emily close to me with her back against my chest. “Nice to meet you,” I tell them. I can’t help but notice how good Emily looks. While she talks with her friends, I adorn her neck with hot kisses. Sweetness giggles and tells me to stop. She turns in my arms and wraps her arms around my neck.

  “Let’s go home,” she says, her eyes burning with desire.

  3

  Emily

  I say goodbye to my friends and follow Jake home. We quickly head to our bedroom and Jake takes a condom from the nightstand drawer. His phone rings, but he ignores it. My fingertips run over his torso slowly. I enjoy the feel of his bare body as my fingers glide over it. Jake slips my shirt over my head and leans down to kiss me. His lips trail a path all over my body.

  A moan easily slips through my lips as I feel Jake enter me. To feel the length of his body on me was delectable. Unlike this morning, there wasn’t an urgency. Our bodies move as if we have forever. Later, we are both exhausted. I snuggle up to Jake and promptly fall asleep.

  I cradled my baby boy in my arms. He was adorable and had many of Jake’s features. I was so happy that I was finally able to meet him. We waited what seemed like forever for the birth of our baby boy. Jake gazed at the baby with love in his eyes. “Do you want to hold him,” I asked.

  Jake nodded and held out his arms. I rested the baby in Jake’s arms. I’m taken away by the sight before me. My two loves are standing in front of me and my heart swells at how wonderful this is. Jake looked up at me and an evil grin consumed his face. Terror swept through me like a tsunami. The skin melted off his face leaving a skeleton. A black cloak appeared over him. It’s as if my love has transformed into a grim reaper with all the accessories as well.