Bending Under Pressure Read online

  Mom and Walter both have a thirty to forty-five minute drive to work, depending on traffic.

  Keelan: Oh, cool. Where are you from? Do you get to see your dad?

  Me: He lives two hours away. I don’t seem him as often as I’d like, but he’s coming to have dinner with me tomorrow

  Dad is probably lonely. I mean, Mom has Walter. Who does he have? No one because I’m here with them. Once again, I wonder why he didn’t want me to stay. Mom doesn’t need me, but I wasn’t exactly given a choice.

  Keelan: That sucks, but it’s good you’ll be able to see him then. Do you think you’ll like it here?

  Will I? Jess seems pretty cool. Keelan does too; plus, he’s cute. School doesn’t seem half bad either.

  Me: It has potential. :)

  I texted Dad Elsie’s exact address, so he could put it in his GPS and get here with no problem. I’ve been buzzing with excited energy all day. Even now, sitting in a booth, I can’t stop fidgeting.

  “What can I get you, dear?” Elsie asks.

  “Nothing yet. I’m waiting on someone.” I give her a big smile because I’m just too happy. It’s been so long since I’ve seen my dad, and I get to spend a couple of hours with him tonight. The best part is I didn’t even have to ask him to come! He offered!

  I glance at my phone and see it’s seven o’clock. He should be here any minute now. My eyes are trained on the door, waiting for it to open with a ding and Dad to walk through. I wonder what he’s been up to without us there. I wonder if he misses me; of course he does because he wanted to see me today.

  “Are you sure you don’t want anything? Not even a drink?” Mrs. Elsie asks when she returns.

  I shake my head. “No, he should be here soon.”

  My gut is telling me he won’t show. He’s already fifteen minutes late. I pick my phone and call him, but he doesn’t answer. I try texting him, but again, no response. God, he can’t be doing this to me again. Maybe he’s lost and he’s trying to focus on getting here. Maybe he’s had an accident, or maybe he’s running behind because someone else had an accident. He’s going to come. He’s running late, that’s all.

  I wait thirty more minutes, not wanting to give up. My throat is burning, my eyes are watery, and when a tear manages to escape, I quickly wipe it away. Where is he? I pick up my phone and try calling him once again.

  Finally, he answers.

  “I’m sorry, Haley. I got caught up at work and am just now leaving. I won’t be able to make it.”

  The door dings as it opens, and I see Keelan walking in. His eyes immediately find mine and he begins to walk my way. Why is he here? “It’s okay. Maybe next time,” I tell Dad. “I should go. Bye.” I hang up, not even feeling a little guilty for not saying I love him. “What are you doing here?” I ask when Keelan sits down across from me.

  “Mrs. Elsie called the house and wanted to know why I was standing you up.” My brows wrinkle in confusion. “She thought you were meeting me here. I decided to come check on you since it sounded like your dad didn’t make it. Do you want to come to my house? Mom already fixed you a plate.”

  While I don’t really want company, I definitely do not want to go home yet. That would let my mother know she was right. “I would like that.”

  Mrs. Elsie was ready to tear me a good one when she called the house. She said Haley was sitting in one of her booths, near tears, waiting on me. I guess since I showed up with her once and since Haley said she was waiting on him, Mrs. Elsie assumed it was me. I don’t know what happened with her dad, and I don’t ask. Haley follows me to the house and I lead her into the kitchen where Mom is making a cake.

  “Thanks for dinner,” Haley says when Mom hands her a plate of hot food.

  “Any time.” Mom smiles at her. She starts asking Haley about school and tennis. Keeping the conversation light and simple. Mom always has a knack for knowing what people need. When Haley finishes, Mom tells her she can stay for cake, if she’d like.

  “C’mon, Haley.” I take her hand and lead her up to my room, releasing her hand once we’ve stepped inside. I take a seat on the far side of my bed, leaning against the headboard with my legs stretched out. Haley looks unsure for a moment before slipping off her shoes and sitting next to me with her legs crisscrossed.

  She runs her fingers over my comforter before glancing at me. “Nice room.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Where’s Cam?”

  “With Jess. He’ll be home soon.”

  I want to suggest that we should kiss because damn, her lips are perfect, and I bet I’d think so even more if I could kiss her. Why does she have to be so pretty? Of course, I won’t now because she obviously hasn’t had a good evening.

  “So, can I ask you something about yourself?” she asks, and I lift my gaze from her lips to her eyes.

  “Go ahead.”

  “During roll call in science, Mr. Roberts said your last name is Moore and Cam’s is Giddings.” She stops and waits for me to explain.

  “That wasn’t a question, you know.” I’m rewarded with a smile, a soft laugh, and she even rolls her eyes at me. “We’re not blood-related. We were both adopted. Mom and Dad’s last name is Sanderson. They adopted us when we were six. We were in the same foster home, and were best friends. They initially only planned to adopt only one kid. When they saw how close we were and how protective of one another we were, they adopted us both instead. We were already used to our last names, and I guess they were scared they would confuse us.”

  “That was very sweet of them.”

  I nod in agreement. “They have always open with us and would answer any questions we had the best they could. Everyone in town knows we were adopted, too.”

  “Hey, man,” Cam says as he walks into my room. “Oh, hey, Haley,” he adds when he notices her. He plops down onto the game chair by the TV, and Haley leans back against the headboard.

  “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be at Jess’s for a while longer.”

  “Her parents sent me home.” He lifts his hands behind his head as he leans back. “They gave me that school night excuse.” Cam focuses his gaze on Haley. “We have a game Friday, and Jess is going. Are you? She was planning on asking if you wanted to go.”

  “That sounds fun. I’ll be there. Maybe Jess and I can ride together.”

  “I’m sure Jess won’t mind that at all,” Cam assures her. “Keelan can give you her number if you don’t have it already.” He stands and adds on his way out, “See y’all losers later.”

  “I should head home. Thanks for inviting me over.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll walk you out.”

  We put our shoes on and go downstairs. Haley thanks my parents for dinner before I walk her outside to her car. She presses the unlock button on her key fob, and I open the door for her.

  “Thanks again, Keelan.” Haley steps forward, quickly kisses my cheek, and then slides into her car.

  I grin, close her door, and watch as she drives away.

  “Keelan, check the mail please,” Mom calls from the front porch. Dad must have forgotten.

  I pull the mail from the box and flip through it as I walk back to the house. I’m surprised to see an envelope with my name on it. The name on the return address stops me in my tracks.

  Natalie Moore.

  My biological mother.

  How did she even find me? I didn’t think she had that kind of information. I fold it in half and stuff it in my back pocket. What does she want? Thankfully, Mom isn’t nearby when I walk back inside. I toss the mail onto the table in the kitchen and hurry to Cam’s room.

  “What’s the deal with you and Haley?” he asks without glancing from his TV. I close his door and he finally looks at me. “What’s wrong?” I pull the letter from my pocket and throw it to where he sits in a desk chair. “Natalie wrote you,” he states. “I’m guessing Mom and Dad don’t know?” I shake my head. “Are you going to open it?”

  I fall back onto his bed. “Sho
uld I? What do you think she wants?”

  “I don’t know, man. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen her. Maybe she wants you back?”

  “After all this time? Why? She’s not my parent anymore. Mom and Dad are.”

  “So, maybe she wants to get to know you. You won’t know unless you open it.”

  “Should I tell them first?” I ask, already filled with dread and worry over how my parents might react.

  “I think you should read it first.” Cam holds out the letter.

  Sitting up, I grab it and retreat to my room with a mumbled thanks. I sit on my bed, taking a deep breath. My hands tremble as I rip the envelope open. Might as well get this over with, like ripping a Band-Aid off.

  Dear Keelan,

  I’m not sure if you know who I am by name because I’m not sure what your adopted parents have told you or what you remember. I’m your biological mother. I don’t know where to start really, other than I’m finally in a good place in my life and I would love to meet you.

  It took some time, but thanks to you playing football, a private investigator was able to find you. As I said, I would love to meet you and get to know you better. Please write me back or call me at the number below.

  Hope to hear from you soon,

  Natalie

  She hired someone to find me? That’s insane. And she wants to meet me? I don’t know how I feel about it. Am I supposed to want to meet her or not? A soft knock on my door causes me to lift my head. Mom stands in the doorway, watching me curiously.

  “I came to say good night. Was everything fine with Haley?”

  “I don’t know. She didn’t talk about it, and I wasn’t sure what to ask.”

  Mom nods in understanding. “Are you okay?” Her gaze flickers to the letter I’m gripping in my hands.

  I shake my head, not sure how I’m supposed to tell her, but knowing I need to right now. Mom walks into my room and sits down on the edge of my bed. She pats my knee, a show of reassurance. I hand her the letter. Mom reads it silently before looking up at me, no clear emotions showing on her face.

  “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. You’re my mom. You, Dad, and Cam are my family. Not her,” I say adamantly.

  “Yes, we are your family and nothing will change that, Keelan. Not a single thing could ever come between us. Think about it for a few days before you make a decision about what you want to do. If you want to meet with her, we’ll support you. If you don’t, we’ll support you. You’re my son, and I love you. All I ask is that you keep me updated.”

  While I feel better with her words, I am disappointed, too. “You’re not going to help me decide?”

  Mom gives me a small smile, shaking her head. “No, honey. This needs to be your choice and yours alone.”

  Great. Just great. I like my life the way it is. I like the stability my parents have given me. I like knowing I have one mom, one dad, and one brother. I know exactly how my life should be and now, this woman I can’t claim to know wants to see me? Wants to get to know me? Why? And why don’t I immediately know what I want?

  Mom tells me goodnight and leaves. A minute later, Cameron comes in. “So?”

  “Natalie wants to meet me. Mom says it’s my decision.”

  “Wow. What are you going to do?”

  “I have no freaking clue.”

  Mom looks worried when I come home. She’s in the living room and immediately gets up to meet me at the door.

  “Everything go well with your father?” she asks.

  “Yep,” I lie. “I’m going to bed. Night, Mom.”

  I can tell she wants to say something, but she doesn’t. I keep going to my room, grateful for the distraction Keelan and his mom provided, but now that I’m home, I’m overwhelmingly bummed. Just once, why can’t Dad show up like he says he will? I change, climb into bed, and let the tears fall.

  The second day of school is as boring as the first and my English class gives out the first assignment of the year. Keelan walks me to most of my classes, but he’s quiet today. At lunch, when we sit down in the same seats, I angle myself toward him. He’s picking at his food, looking lost in his thoughts.

  “Everything okay?” I ask softly.

  Keelan lifts his head and looks at me. “Yeah, Hales. Everything’s fine. Just thinking.”

  I nod and mistakenly glance at the rest of the table. Already I’ve cornered myself by befriending Keelan, Cameron, and Jess. I don’t know how to start conversations with the rest of the table and they’re too busy talking about something I know nothing about. With Keelan quiet and Jess giggling over something Cam is telling her, I’m pretty much on my own.

  My mind drifts to my father. Part of me doesn’t want to miss him because it’s pointless. But the other part of me is completely baffled. How can he go from always being around to not returning my calls or not showing up when he says he will? He’s supposed to be my father. You know what? I’m going home this weekend. I want to see him. I’ll surprise Dad with a visit and hang out for a while. He won’t mind one bit.

  After practice, I groan when I see Walter is home. I feel like he tries twice as hard when Mom isn’t around. Why? Mom isn’t here to see him make a show of getting to know me. All it does is irritate me further.

  He’s in the kitchen, cooking dinner, and I pretend he isn’t there as I head toward the fridge for something to drink.

  “How was practice?” he asks.

  I let the fridge door shut on its own, the contents in the door clinking together as it closes.

  “I’m fixing your favorite,” he tries again. “Smoked sausage and mac and cheese.” As if I don’t know what my favorite meal is.

  Turning, I take my can of soda and begin to walk toward the doorway.

  “I’m not your enemy, you know,” he says.

  His words cause me to swivel on my heels to face him. “Maybe not, but just because you married my mom doesn’t mean we’re family. My family is my mom and my dad. You’re not my enemy, but you aren’t family either.” I fold my arms over my chest, waiting for his response.

  “Yeah? And how many times have you seen your father, who is part of your family, in the past six months?”

  This is the first time Walter has ever brought up my father to me. My jaw drops and tears sting my eyes. How does he know I didn’t see him yesterday? God, even Walter knows my dad tossed me to the side like trash. I don’t know if I should be pissed or hurt that Walter basically threw my barely there relationship with my father in my face. Before my building rage and hurt can release the words in my mouth, he speaks again.

  “Haley, all I’m saying is that I’m here, too. I don’t have to be family or a friend, but I can be here if you ever need something.”

  I’m sick and tired of not knowing what I feel. I don’t like Walter. I don’t know why my parents divorced or if he had anything to do with it. All I know is that he’s offering to be here for me, and my own father rarely answers my calls and never shows up. My shoulders sag in defeat. Silently, I turn and walk away.

  I’m in the middle of my homework when Walter peeks his head into my room.

  “Dinner’s ready. Your mom is going to be late, but she said we should go ahead and eat.”

  Walter’s company is not what I want right now. “If I decide to eat in my room alone, are you going to tattle on me?” I ask, lifting my head from where I sit on my bed.

  He gives me a small smile. “Nope. I’ll tell her we sat at the table and you were your usual talkative self.”

  “Thanks,” I mumble, closing my book and crawling off the bed. Maybe Walter isn’t too bad.

  “30 – Love.” I toss the ball into the air, bringing my arm forward in time to hit it across the court. Jess and I are up two points in our doubles match, with our opponents having none, or love as it’s called in tennis. All we need is two more points and we’ve won the game. We have three more before our second set is done. If we can keep the lead through the next set, we’ll have won the match.
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br />   I’m impressed with how well Jess and I play together. It helps that she can volley like no one’s business. She’s better at the front of the net, while I’m better in the back. Unfortunately, I can’t stay in the back the entire game. Coach Spell already pulled me aside after my singles match to let me know we’re going to be working on my volleys more. It’s my one weak area.

  “You!” Jess shouts as she lets the return pass by her.

  My left hand grabs the handle as I bring the racquet back on my left side to prepare for my backhanded hit. I swing in perfect timing, the ball landing just inside the outer line; one of our opponents rushes for the return, but she hits the net. The tennis ball is tossed back to me. I try to relax my shoulders as I prepare for my next serve. I stand along the serve line and bounce the ball five times. It’s part ritual, part giving myself time.

  “40 – Love,” I call out before I serve. The ball lands so perfectly inside the line and I can’t help the squeal that comes out as the girl misses the ace serve. There was no way she could have returned it. Jess gives me a high-five before we change the scorecard and start the next one.

  The girls put up a good fight in the last set. We rally back and forth a ton. It starts to feel like it’ll never end, but it does and we walk away having won the match. I glance around to realize we were the last ones playing. I also notice we have two new spectators, Cameron and Keelan. They must have come over after football practice.

  Coach Spell rallies us together, tells us we played well, and tomorrow, we’d be working harder on some things he’d noticed. Then he dismisses us. Jess grabs my elbow and drags me as we meet the guys. Cam wraps his arms around her and kisses her temple.

  “Gross,” Jess says. “You guys haven’t even gone home to shower yet. You’re all sweaty and gross.” She still hugs him back though.

  “Y’all are great together,” Cam tells me, ignoring Jess. “I thought Jess’s serves were crazy powerful, but I think you have her beat.”