Back to Me Read online

  “There will be time for that later, promise. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I’m not going to wake up in the morning disappointed because it was all a dream?”

  “Nope.” I kiss his tattoo.

  “You love it, don’t you? Even with how much you tried to get me to change my mind, even with ratting me out to my mom so she could try too, you love that your name is permanently inked on my chest, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” I confess, though I’m sure he already knew it.

  “That makes all the shit I’ve had to hear about it worth it.”

  I lift my head, pulling my arms up so I can rest my chin on my forearms. “What do you mean?”

  “I can’t even count how many times a teammate has ragged on me because I have a tattoo for a girl who isn’t even mine anymore. Pictures were taken of me without a shirt during interviews and there it was, plain as day. Everyone who looked knew there was a tattoo of a girl’s name on my chest and I wasn’t dating her anymore. Not to mention the reactions of girls I was dating when they saw it, if they didn’t know about it already.”

  “Would you have ever gotten it removed?” I ask, remembering he said one girl pressed him about it. Was it Erica?

  “If I ever found someone to love as much as I love you, if she asked, then probably. I wasn’t removing it unless that happened, and it hasn’t.”

  “I’m glad.” I turn to rest my cheek against his chest once more, my arms going down by our sides. Us, it’s been too easy so far. “How can it be like this?” I ask him.

  “Like what?”

  “So easy and seamless.”

  “Let’s enjoy it, Mere. I’m sure we’ll hit a bump soon enough.”

  Despite his words, I laugh. “Because we’re perfect for one another would’ve been a better answer.”

  “That’s true too.”

  We’re quiet for so long that I’ve nearly fallen asleep. I’m warm, relaxed, and tired. Noah, on the other hand, has been thinking.

  “We should go to the hotel and get your things; you can stay here. How long do you think you’ll stay in Raleigh?”

  “I don’t know.” Noah’s muscles tense beneath me, so I continue, “I don’t know because I don’t know what I’ll be doing with my life now. I guess it depends on what happens with my shoulder. I have plenty of time to waste, though. But if we’re together, then I’ll be here as long as you’re here.” One would think my biggest obstacle is my shoulder. It’s more likely that it’s actually the fact that I don’t know how to let go of my career. I’m still blindly holding onto hope that I can get back to playing form.

  He relaxes with my answer. “You’ll move in with me?”

  I sit up to straddle him, wrapping the blanket around me to cover me up. “Noah—”

  He covers my mouth with his hand before I can protest. Before I can tell him that no, I won’t, because we literally just got back together, because he broke up with his last girlfriend today, and because it’s simply too soon, regardless of our history.

  “Don’t even say no. I’ve been waiting forever for this moment, Meredith. I don’t want to waste a minute of us making up for lost time because you’re living in an apartment somewhere else. You here with me is inevitable now that I have you back. Stay with me. The season will start soon and it’ll be like having your own apartment when I’m on the road. Let that be enough. If you can give me a really good reason I can’t argue you on, then I won’t fight it. If you don’t have a reason, then give me a kiss and get dressed, so we can get your things.”

  Slowly, as if I’m going to spit out a reason, he removes his hand. My plan was to come here and try to get back together with Noah. I’m here; we’re together. Do I need a separate apartment? Part of me says yes while the other part of me wants to agree with Noah.

  I lean down to kiss him as my answer.

  The disappointment of waking up in Noah’s bed alone wouldn’t be nearly as bad if I wasn’t in his apartment alone. He left a note on his pillow saying that he was gone for his morning workout and to get some time on the ice. I guess that’s another change, though it’s definitely one I can appreciate and admire. He’s more dedicated to hockey than before. Otherwise, he would still be in bed with me.

  I shower and then make my way to the kitchen. It feels odd to be here, searching for food as if I live here, when it’s only been twenty-four hours since I ran into Noah. But for the first time in six months, life doesn’t look quite so dreary. My phone rings with a call from my mother and I answer. She’s been calling me daily since I moved back to Pittsburgh where I finally lived in the house I owned there.

  “Hey, Mom.”

  “Hey. How’s it going so far?”

  “Good. I think I’m going to stay with Noah for a while.”

  “I think that’s the best decision you’ve made in a long time, Meredith,” she says.

  I nod and then realize she can’t see me. “Me too.” I decide on cereal, so I turn on the speaker and set my phone down to fix myself a bowl.

  “However, I’m concerned.”

  “About what?”

  “You’re going to have to find a new physical therapist and get your records transferred. If you’re serious about getting back into the pros, you need to take PT more seriously.”

  The thing is, Mom doesn’t know that I have been taking it seriously. It’s easier to tell her I’ve been flaky than to admit the progress is way slower than normal. I’m in Denialville with a capital D, population of one.

  “I will, but Mom, what if I do retire? What kind of career do you think I should do next? I just want to be prepared.”

  Her silence is not encouraging. “I’m not sure off the top of my head. You’ve never shown interest in much other than tennis. Do you want to report the game or be involved in some other way?”

  And have to see Vance at some point? “No,” I answer aloud.

  “Why don’t you search some majors on university websites and see if something stands out? Or take a few of those specialty classes at a community college and see if you’d want to explore that further? They have photography, cake decorating, things like that. I know you’re eager to decide on something so you can reconfigure your backup plan, but you don’t need to know right now. You have time. You haven’t even retired yet.”

  “I know,” I mumble, causing Mom to laugh.

  “Try that. If it doesn’t work, we’ll come up with a new plan. For now, you enjoy your time there with Noah.”

  “I will. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Call me if you need me.”

  “I will,” I promise.

  If I’m going to be staying here for the foreseeable future, I’m going to need more clothes than what I packed in my carry-on. The original plan was to fly back, pack my car, and drive back here with my things if I were to stay for longer than a week. I guess I could still do that, but if Noah is going to let me drive his car while I’m here, Mom could ship me what I need. I’ll have to ask him if he’d be okay with that or not.

  After finishing my cereal, I rinse the dish and place it in the dishwasher. The two pots and one pan Noah used last night while cooking have been washed. He must’ve done it this morning. Unfortunately, I couldn’t leave my restlessness at home. What am I supposed to do now? I’m used to constantly doing something. Without a job, I do more nothing than something. It drives me crazy. I sit down on the couch, feeling out of place and at a loss as to what to do. I guess I should check out the local physical therapists.

  I hear the lock turn in the door and shift so I can see who’s about to walk through. For a moment, I fear it could be Erica, but thankfully, it’s only Noah. He grins as he closes the distance between us, forcing me to lie down as he hovers over me.

  “You’re here,” he says.

  I laugh. “Where else would I be?”

  “On a plane back to Pittsburgh. Glad you’re not there.” Before I can remind him that I said I wouldn’t leave, he leans down to kiss me. His hai
r falls forward, tickling my face, especially since it’s wet. He must’ve showered before coming home. “Want to go someplace with me this afternoon?”

  “Depends,” I lie. I’d go anywhere with him, no questions asked. “Where are we going?”

  He moves his head side to side so his hair brushes my face. “To get my hair cut.”

  “What? Why?” Longish hair on Noah definitely works.

  “I always cut it right before training camp.”

  “But I haven’t had a chance to fully enjoy it yet.” To make my point, I lean up to kiss him, tugging on a handful of hair.

  Noah laughs. “Good thing we have time before my appointment.” He stands and pulls me with him, leading me to the door. “Time for me to make my other fantasy come true,” he explains as he pulls my shirt up and over my head, tossing it behind him.

  “Let me cut your hair.”

  I nearly get whiplash from glancing at Meredith so fast. She’s lost her mind. “You can cut hair?”

  She shrugs. “Let’s find out,” she says with a mischievous grin. “Maybe I want to become a hairdresser. This will help me decide.” That’s a load of shit. “Please, Noah?”

  Have I gone crazy already? Because I find myself nodding, relenting, and pulling out my phone to cancel my appointment. Meredith squeals with delight. She pulls a chair from the table to the middle of the kitchen floor since it’s the one of the few rooms without carpet. She grabs a towel while I grab the kit my mom convinced me I’d need, but have never used.

  No matter how this turns out, the grin on Meredith’s face right now already makes it worth it. She pats the seat and I sit with a deep breath. She stands in front of me, snipping at the air with an evil grin on her face. I grab her wrist and pull her down to me, so we’re face to face.

  “People love me for my hair, Mere. Don’t butcher it.”

  She kisses me softly. “Have more faith in me, Noah.”

  “I would if you knew what you were doing,” I mumble as she begins to cut. “You don’t even know what I want!”

  “Yes, I do. I’ve seen your picture when it’s short. Close your eyes and trust me.”

  My eyes close on their own accord. I can feel her around me as she moves. Her legs bump into my elbows every so often and I just want to grab them and pull her onto my lap. When her fingers start diving into my hair, I nearly yank her into my lap right then. The only thing that stops me is the fact that she’s holding scissors.

  When her knees hit mine, my eyes pop open to get an eyeful of cleavage. I can’t resist grabbing her hips, causing her to glance down at me with a smirk.

  “Please tell me you’re finished.”

  I tug her down so she straddles my lap. “Almost.” Her gaze lifts to my hair and she runs her hand through it, scrutinizing her work. “I need to stand,” she tells me.

  “No.” I pull her closer to me.

  “You told me not to butcher it. How can I make sure I don’t do that if I can’t see?”

  “Find another way, because the next time you stand, it’s so I can drag you to my bed.”

  “When did you become so demanding?” she teases, cutting whatever she needed to without leaving my lap.

  “I’m not demanding,” I retort, unable to look anywhere but her breasts. “I’m giving you a heads-up, like a warning. You should thank me for it, really.”

  She snaps her fingers and I look up in time to see her roll her eyes. “I’m finished.” She sets the scissors aside, puts both hands in my hair, and grips a handful. She pulls to tilt my head back. A grin graces her face. “I left it a little longer on the top so I’d have something to pull.”

  “Want to really test it out?”

  “Well, if you insist,” she smiles.

  “Okay,” Meredith says as she runs her fingers through my hair for the millionth time since we left my apartment. I was impressed when I saw how well she did. “I think I really like this better.” She gently tugs on a chunk from the top of my head. “How can you be hotter?”

  I laugh. “It’s a natural ability,” I reply, causing her to giggle. “God, I’ve missed you,” I blurt out. It feels as if it’s been centuries since I last heard her laugh, and to hear it as often as I have in the past day is blowing my mind. Not to mention that I’ve been able to talk to her, to kiss her, to make love to her. Thankful doesn’t begin to cover how I feel about having her back.

  “I’ve missed you too,” she tells me quietly as I park the SUV. “I wish I’d never met Vance, then I could’ve come back sooner and,” she hesitates as if choosing her words carefully, “avoided some of the heartache.”

  “How about we stop thinking of the should’ves and could’ves and focus on you being here with me now?” She nods, so I add, “Let’s go meet Marc.”

  We get out of the car and meet around the front. I take her hand and she makes me laugh when she says, “You know, I thought you would’ve kept me in your apartment for more making up instead of taking me to meet one of your teammates.”

  I groan. “Don’t make me change my mind.” There was a serious debate going on in my head while my hair was being cut before I settled on her meeting my closest friend on the team. I think that’s one of the toughest things about being traded. You have to learn a new system, adjust to a new coaching staff, and get to know a new round of players. Marc, however, was traded with me from my previous team.

  We walk into the restaurant, and I tell the hostess who we’re meeting. She leads us to a booth. Marc slides out to stand and greet Meredith. All I told him was that he was meeting my new girlfriend.

  “Marc, this is Meredith. Mere, this is Marc.”

  She shakes his hand, but all he’s doing is staring at her in wonder. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  “Holy shit.” Marc glances at me. “Meredith as in the Meredith?” he asks, pointing to where her tattoo is on my chest.

  “Yes,” we both confirm.

  “Wow.” We sit down in the booth and Marc says, “How the hell did this happen?”

  We’re unable to respond right away because a waitress comes to take our drink orders. When she walks away, Marc keeps talking instead of giving us time to reply to his first question.

  “I’m stunned, really. I won’t lie; I was starting to think you were a figment of Rams’s imagination.” Meredith raises an eyebrow at me at the mention of my nickname. “He told me the story once, and the way he described you, I was about ready to come find you myself. I would’ve if he’d have told me how hot you are.” To my dismay, Meredith laughs. “How long are you here for? When are your hot tennis friends coming to visit, so you can set me up?”

  At the mention of tennis, Mere loses her smile. Fucking Marc. I kick him under the table and he glares at me.

  “I’m here for the foreseeable future. You’re on your own if you need a girlfriend,” she answers. “How long have you known Noah?”

  “Too damn long,” he laughs. “We’ve been playing together for, what, four years now? We were both traded to Carolina as a package deal. He took me under his wing from day one and we’ve been friends ever since.”

  “Only because he doesn’t know how to make new friends,” I say. “He was shy when I first met him.”

  “So, you probably have some good stories to tell about Noah then?” Meredith asks hopefully.

  “Absolutely,” he grins.

  After we order, Marc launches into the story of our friendship pretty much. He even manages to tell her everything in chronological order. I don’t focus on what he’s saying, though. I’m too busy having the utmost surreal feeling. We’re a couple. She’s laughing, enjoying herself, and is relaxed. It’s so surreal that I’m waiting for something to go wrong, for something to ruin this amazing moment, to destroy this feeling.

  Nothing happens.

  “Okay, you’ve talked enough, Marc. Save some of it for another time, yeah?” I interrupt. I’m ready to go home and take Mere to bed. “We still have catching up to do ourselves.”

  “
I’m sure you do,” he smirks.

  “It was really nice to meet you,” Meredith says, ignoring his comment.

  “You too. It’s good to know you exist.”

  I leave some cash on the table, not wanting to wait for the waitress. “Make sure the waitress gets the money. This isn’t a tip for your company,” I tell him, making him laugh.

  With that, Meredith and I make our way back to my apartment. She seems to like Marc, which is good. She’ll be seeing him quite a bit between him being my teammate and best friend. Something seems different with her, which makes me worry.

  As we ride the elevator up to my floor, I ask, “You doing okay with everything?”

  She looks up at me with a small smile. “As much as I can be while not knowing what my future looks like. I want to be able to go with the flow and forget about ever making a plan again, but I need it, Noah. I need a sense of direction, and right now, I don’t really have one.”

  “We’ll figure it out,” I promise. She’s always had a plan, goals, and structure in her life. It’s how she became such a great tennis player. Meredith without a plan is like a fish out of the water. She needs it to function. I tug her closer to me and lean down to kiss her slowly, a privilege I’ve missed having. It’s a blessing to hear the small sigh she releases at the touch of our lips and to feel her relaxing into me.

  The elevators ding open and we hear, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  I wince at the sound of Erica’s voice as I feel Meredith tense next to me. Sure enough, she’s standing outside of my apartment door. I made sure to move the spare key inside this morning before I left. It’ll be going to Meredith anyway. In a quiet voice, I tell Meredith as I hand her my key, “Go inside and wait for me.” To Erica, I say, “We can talk while I walk you to your car.”

  She glares, but surprisingly follows me. “We broke up yesterday and you’re already kissing her? You don’t waste any time, do you, Noah? I should’ve run the moment I saw her name on your chest.”