Looking for You (Oh Captain, My Captain #1) Read online

  Whitney nods and my stomach sinks. This isn’t going to turn out well. I need advice though. I still don’t think I should tell Ellie just yet either. She seems to like me as I am to her right now, not to mention what she said about pro players is ingrained into my mind. Telling her would alter her perception of me, and I’m not ready to let that go. We’re having fun. Why mess that up?

  We spend the rest of dinner talking about Whitney and her schoolwork. I pay for dinner and on the way to her house, she asks when she’s going to be able to meet Ellie. Instinct tells me to say never ever ever. Instead, I tell her that I’ll let her know. The entire drive home, I’m wondering how in the world I’m going to be able to pull this off.

  ~

  Our game tonight is at home, one of my favorite places to play. Home games have such a different atmosphere than away games. Our fans are here and they are loud, excited, and greedy for some hockey. One way to explain it is that it’s like having a ton of clones of my mom, my biggest fan, cheering us on. Moms are always the loudest, the most outspoken, and the best fans ever. Playing home games with our fans is sort of like that. So when we skate out onto the ice, the arena erupts with screams, clapping, and so much noise. Happiness settles in my heart. This is where I’m supposed to be. This is home.

  My mind pushes Ellie, my sister and how she’s supposed to meet her, and every other thing but hockey out of my mind. Nothing exists but the sounds of skates slicing into the ice, pucks being hit by sticks, some deflecting loudly off the glass or the posts.

  Tonight, we’re playing the Indiana Mustangs and their captain is Brody Ross. Talk about focusing on the game, that guy is serious and focused when he steps onto the ice. I met him once and he was pretty easy going and funny, the complete opposite during a game. It should be a good, tough match up.

  They are a force to be reckoned with and the game flies by too quickly with a 2-0 loss. When I finally make it home, my phone lights up with a missed text from Ellie. I change, fall into my bed, and then text her back.

  Me: Sorry, just getting home. Have a good day?

  Part of me thinks that Ellie is a really innocent girl and she’s probably already in bed. She proves me wrong when she responds.

  Ellie: It was a day. You?

  Me: Could have been better.

  A win would have been really nice. My thumbs hover over the unfinished text. Might as well get this over with.

  Me: Would you like to have dinner with me and my sister next week?

  Ellie: Um, sure?

  Me: Bring the spray. Not for you. For me, so I can keep my sister in line. haha jk

  Ellie: Should I be nervous?

  Yes, yes you should. That’s what I want to say, because hell, I’m nervous. Instead, I tell her that there is nothing to worry about. I even go as far to say that it’ll be fun.

  Fun. Hell. Same thing, right?

  Chapter Eight

  Ellie

  I can’t believe that he texted me. I just sent him a simple text just to see if he would ever text me back. When I saw the text from him, my heart jumped. Then, out of the blue, he asks me to meet his sister. I don’t know what that means. I know meeting the parents is a huge deal, but a sister?

  I haven’t spoken to Lacey since I ditched her on Saturday, but I need her now. I send her a text and ask to meet her for dinner. She agreed, but wanted to go out to eat. I knew she was going to make me go out. She nagged me all day on Saturday to go to a club, but instead I laid in bed and read a great book.

  I park my car and head into the restaurant. I hate big crowds and eating out could be the worst, sometimes. I see Lacey in a corner table, flirting with some waiter. I can’t help but feel a ping of jealousy at her because I wish I had her confidence.

  The waiter doesn’t even notice me as I sit in the chair across from her. She gives him her number, and he leaves.

  “Well, how have you been since you stood me up?” She crosses her arms and gives me an evil look.

  “You know I don’t like nightclubs.”

  “You’ve never been to one. How do you know that you don’t like it?” Her eyes narrow at me.

  “Touché.” I hang my head.

  “Now that I’ve said my peace, tell me about lover boy.” Her mean face goes away, and it’s replaced by a bright smile.

  “I think I’m in trouble.” I go into great detail of everything that happened on the trail. Lacey covers her mouth to hide her laugh when I tell her about the mishap of the non-kiss.

  “So, Mr. Hudson is an architect. That’s some money there. But I can’t believe you didn’t kiss him.”

  I shift in my seat and sip my wine. I didn’t want to tell her that I’m scared to death to kiss him. “It gets worse,” I tell her.

  “How?”

  “He wants me to meet his sister. Next week.”

  “Wow, well, I guess you didn’t scare him away. But why his sister?”

  “He told me that he’s close to his siblings, and his sister goes to school in Seattle.”

  “That makes sense then. So, are you going to go?”

  As much as I want to back out and not go, I already told Hudson that I would go. I’m scared to death about though. “Yes, I told him that I would go. What does it mean to meet his sister? I mean is it like meeting the parents?”

  She thinks for a moment. “In this case, it’s probably a pre-screening.”

  “It’s not like I’m asking the government to date Hudson King.”

  Lacey stops and stares at me. “What did you say? What’s his name?”

  “Hudson King.”

  She scrunches her face like she’s doing a hard math problem. “I know that name. How do I know that name?”

  I gasp. “Oh, God, have you slept with him?”

  She gives me a pointed look. “I haven’t slept with every guy in Portland. But that name is so familiar.” Lacey sits there, trying to figure out how she knows Hudson. “Maybe I worked with him or something.”

  I nod in agreement. Lacey works with a lot of clients and seems to know everyone. I guess that it’s possible they have met in passing.

  The waiter comes back and takes our order for food. I change the topic and ask Lacey about work. She goes into all the new clients that she is working with, and she’s hoping to get a promotion from work. That way she wouldn’t be on the road as much.

  I begin to talk about all the traveling that I’ve been doing from home to Portland. I think I’m spending more time in my car than my own home. We talk more about some guy that Lacey has been talking to. She seems to like him, but she won’t commit to anyone yet. She seems to always have one or two of them around. Even though I know she doesn’t sleep with all of them, she keeps her options open. It makes me feel like a nun, because I can’t even kiss Hudson.

  Our food comes, and we eat with some small talk. I tell her about this great book I just finished reading. She tells me about some reality show she has been watching. It’s hard to believe that we are such good friends, because we have almost nothing in common. Then again, maybe that is why we are friends. Our differences seem to bring us together.

  When we finish, we head out on our separate ways. I’m exhausted when I get home. I still have work to do, but when my phone alerts me of a text, my breath catches. It’s Hudson.

  Hudson: How about dinner when you get off work tomorrow?

  Me: I won’t be in Portland.

  Hudson: Oh, okay

  I want to see him, but I doubt he would come to my house. Do I want him here?

  Me: We could have dinner at my house? If you want?

  He doesn’t answer back right away. I guess that he doesn’t want to. That’s fine. I shouldn’t push him into anything.

  Hudson: I’ll bring the wine. Around 5 okay?

  Me: See you then

  Oh my God, Hudson’s coming to my house. What the heck am I going to cook? I slap my hand to my forehead. Why didn’t I think this through?

  ~

  I wake up tired the nex
t morning from tossing and turning all night long. Hudson is going to be in my house in less than ten hours. I need to get through work first, then have my panic attack after that.

  On my way to the office, I remind myself that I need to purchase some more books on CDs. I flip through the radio stations and all they’re talking about is sports. I finally just shut it off and turn on my Pandora app.

  The moment I walk into the office, Jeffrey is yelling for me. I quickly think if I’m in trouble. I don’t remember doing anything.

  Jeffrey sits behind his desk, staring at me. If you were walking down the street Jeffrey would be that creepy guy who makes you cross the street. The light in his office is making his bald spot shine.

  “There will be a huge fundraiser for the children’s hospital. It’s next month, and I need you there. No excuses.” His voice is stern and husky.

  “Jeffrey, you know I don’t do parties,” I say quietly, looking at the floor.

  “You’re my top sales rep. God knows why? But your skinny ass will be there. Here.” I look up at him. He’s holding out an envelope for me. I gingerly take it. “Remember to dress like one of those models in the magazines.”

  I turn and leave his office, before he can say anything else. I swiftly answer all my emails, finish my paperwork, and call back a few clients. I want to get out of there as quickly as possible, because I need to figure out what I’m making for dinner.

  After several hours, I’m done. I didn’t even eat lunch. However, I ate a quick snack at my desk. I gather my things and race home. The second I get in the house, I open my fridge and stare at it. I have nothing in there to cook. Crap! Of course I should have planned this better.

  I slam the door shut and quickly think what else I can do in a short amount of time. I have to resort to calling a local diner and order two burger platters. I tell them that I will pick them up in about an hour. I hurry through my house, trying to change, redo my makeup, and make sure I have time to get the food.

  By some sort of miracle, I’m able to do it all. I’m fixing our plates, when the doorbell rings. I wipe my hands on the towel and inspect myself in the hallway mirror. I chose a pair of skinny jeans, with a light pink blouse, and matching ankle boots. I left my hair down and tried to tame the frizz as much as possible.

  When I open the door my mouth drops. Hudson is in a pair of loose fitting jeans and a black dress shirt. His hair is that sexy out-of-bed look, and his eyes are bright when he looks me up and down.

  “Hey Ellie.”

  “Hey,” I breathe out. He’s so handsome that I almost can’t control my breathing or heart beats. “Come in,” I’m finally able to say something. I step to the side to let him in.

  “Where do you want the wine?” I didn’t even notice that he had a bottle in his hands.

  “Just follow me. Um, you’ll have to forgive me.” I walk to the kitchen, as he follows me.

  “Why is that?” I grab the glasses from the counters and set them on the table.

  “Well, I didn’t have anything to cook. I had to order something.” I point to the food. “It’s not Jim’s, but it’s a local diner, and they’re very good.”

  Hudson smiles at me. “Bacon cheeseburgers and onion rings, nice.”

  He pulls my seat out, and I sit down. He sits next to me. I open the wine and pour some into each of our glasses.

  “You know I meant to ask you something the other day, but forgot,” Hudson said.

  “Oh, was that before I almost blinded you with my ponytail?” I mumble in embarrassment.

  Hudson laughs. “Well, I will say that was a more memorable date, that’s for sure. But seriously, what was your major in college?”

  “I went to community college.” I correct him.

  “Still college, right?”

  “Yea, I guess. Um, I wanted to be a nurse. I always wanted to help people.” I smile at him.

  “You know, I can see that from you.” He bites into his burger and moans. “This is really good.”

  “They aren’t bad. I eat there sometimes when I’m working late. So, how’s work going? Working on any big projects that I will see soon in the skyline?” I look up at him brightly.

  “No big projects. Work is just work.” He shrugs uncomfortably. I got the impression he doesn’t want to talk about work.

  “What should I expect from your sister?” I change the subject. I can feel my hands shaking a little bit when I ask. “I mean, is she going to beat me up because I’m dating her big brother?”

  “Not at all. She’s like a girl version of me. She forgets her manners, sometimes, but there’s really nothing to worry about. Just expect to have fun.”

  “I’m sort of nervous.” I honestly admit. “I’ve never met family members before.” I’m not sure why I said that, he’s going to think I’m some prude.

  “Don’t be nervous, Ellie. If it’ll make you feel better, we can come up with some sort of code word and all you have to do is say it. I’ll come up with a way to get you out of there.”

  “Ha, my aunt used to do that too. It was always the same sentence.”

  “And what was that?”

  “Kitty Cat. I would ask if I could have a kitty cat.” I blush at the childish word. My aunt was polite, but sometimes she just wasn’t in the mood to talk to everyone. She would give me a look and I knew to ask the question. Then she would excuse herself from the conversation.

  “That’s cute. How about this? If you get uncomfortable, take my hand and squeeze it really hard. Then I’ll take care of the rest.”

  “That sounds like a plan.” I blush at the thought of holding his hand again.

  “If I may ask, have you always been a nervous person?”

  “I’m more of an agoraphobic than anything. I was worse when I was younger. I hardly spoke when I was a child. Getting this job brought me out of my shell. I mean, I still get very nervous and shy, but it’s much better.”

  “Wow, I can’t imagine you being shyer than this.”

  I bite my lip and feel my cheeks flush. I need to change the subject. So, I start talking about work. I tell him about all the new clients that I’ve signed on, and that I will be spending more time in Portland.

  “Hey, that’s good for me, then.” He grins at me.

  “Oh, I guess traveling this far is a nuisance.” I stand and take my plate to the counter.

  “That’s not what I meant. I actually like leaving the city. You’re right about how peaceful it is out here.” He places his plate on the counter as well.

  It hits me. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. Hudson is just standing there, looking out my kitchen window.

  “Um, Hudson, may I be honest with you for a moment.” I look down at my hands.

  He takes a deep breath. “Of course you can.”

  I look up at him, and he looks sad. “Well,” I clear my throat, “I’m not sure what to do next? I mean, did you want to watch a movie or go for a walk?”

  “Oh.” The look of relief comes over his face. He stands there for a moment and looks like he is thinking about something serious. “May I ask you a personal question? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want, but I’m curious.”

  I nod.

  “Have you ever had a relationship before?”

  “Do you mean a serious relationship?”

  He nods.

  I’m not sure if I should tell him the whole truth, but my aunt always told me to be honest no matter what. “I’ve never had a serious relationship.”

  “Have you ever dated?”

  “A few times, but most guys just wanted something at the end of the date that I’m not willing to give.” I clamp my mouth shut and mentally yell at myself. I can’t believe I just said those words. Now, Hudson will know that I’m a virgin.

  I can’t look at him. I start to fiddle with the hem of my shirt. I can feel my inside shaking, and my cheeks are burning. The tears of embarrassment are creeping up, and I close my eyes hoping they don’t fall.

&
nbsp; “Hey,” he says softly. I hear him come over to me, but I can’t bring myself to look at him. He puts his finger under my chin and gently lifts my face. When I open my eyes, I look deep into his kind eyes. “I promise not to ask you anything that you’re not willing to do.”

  He rubs the pad of his thumb over my lips. I want him to kiss me, except I’m unsure of how to do it. Hudson leans in and kisses my cheek.

  “Thank you,” I whisper when he pulls back.

  “How about we watch a movie?” He suggests, giving me a small, sweet smile. “And I brought the movie.”

  “You did?” I look at him confused.

  “Yep, it’s in my truck. I’ll be right back.” He heads out to his truck.

  I smile when he leaves the room. I feel relieved that Hudson didn’t run away from me or make fun of me. Maybe he is different than other guys. I go into the living room.

  “In sports related news Portland Vikings’ Captain Hu-” The announcer on the news was talking as I flip on the TV, then switch to the DVD player. I sit down in the middle of the couch.

  “Okay, here you go.” He hands me a present.

  “What’s this?” I take the box gingerly.

  “It’s a gift and a guarantee that there will be more dates to come.” He sits down next to me. “Open it.”

  I’m apprehensive as I rip the paper away, because I’m not sure what to expect. I gasp slightly when I see the contents. Then smile at Hudson. “Harry Potter movies?”

  “Yep, the whole collection. However, you can’t watch them without me. Deal?”

  I nod, as I bite my lip again to hold back my gleaming smile. He takes the box from me, pulls out the first movie, and puts it in the player.

  Nerves take over when he sits down. I’m not sure if I should hold his hand or just sit there. I wonder what Lacey would do. Knowing her, she would have sex on the kitchen table with him. When I look over at him he’s leaning back with his head resting on his hand. His other arm is resting on the back of the couch behind me. He isn’t pushing himself on me or taking control of the situation. I think he is waiting to see what I will do.