Looking for You (Oh Captain, My Captain #1) Read online

  Ellie turns on her side fully and giggles. “It’s so cute.”

  “Not when Whit does it. The only one who calls me that and means it in an endearing way is my mother. Whit did it tonight to annoy me. If I tell you how I got it, do you promise not to laugh?” I lay on my side to face her, so I can give her my most serious facial expression.

  “Promise.”

  Slowly, I take a long inhale as if what I’m about to tell her is extremely serious and not a laughing matter. “When I was young, my mother would run bubble baths for me. I loved taking them. Whenever I did though, I would have bubbles, or suds, all over the place and she would say, ‘You’ve made the entire bathroom sudsy.’ Somehow, I thought she said Hudsy and I kept saying it over and over again. Hudsy, Hudsy, Hudsy. Ever since, my mother has called me Hudsy and my siblings use it to pick on me.”

  Ellie bites her lip, trying to contain herself, but she busts out laughing anyway. “That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.” Her smile disappears until it’s only a faint reminder. “Sorry for laughing.”

  “I’ll give you a pass this time.” I lean towards her, kiss her cheek, and add, “Goodnight, Ellie.”

  “Night, Hudson.” She rolls away from me and after a moment, I close my eyes.

  ~

  When I wake up in the morning to see Ellie’s sweet, peaceful, sleeping face, I think about last night when a fan almost exposed me on the spot as well as how much I enjoy hanging out with Ellie, I almost wake her up to tell her right then my secret. But I can’t right now. I could say that it’s because my life, the traveling, the people, the game itself, would overwhelm Ellie, and I don’t want to do that. I could say that I can’t tell her because she said herself that she doesn’t like the dynamics of professional sports.

  Honestly, I can’t tell her because I don’t want to lose what we have right now. I’m being completely selfish, but I have a feeling if I tell Ellie about what I really do, the simpleness between us will disintegrate into nothingness. She doesn’t even know that her not knowing has given me the chance at a normal relationship. There are no outrageous expectations on me that are tied in with hockey. I have to tell her eventually though. I’ll wait until the perfect moment comes along.

  I ease out of bed, look at the disheveled girl sleeping, and then quietly leave the room. I don’t have time to stay for a bit this morning. After I’ve put my clothes on and leave a note by the coffee pot, I head back to Portland. Whitney doesn’t have class until later today, so I call her on the drive to get the verdict.

  “Hey, Hudson,” she answers.

  “Well?” That’s all I say. I’m still a little pissed at her for bringing up sports, especially after I made it clear that I didn’t want her to do that.

  “I like her. She convinced me that she’s clueless about your world. She’s very sweet, but doesn’t seem outgoing or anything.” Whitney seems like she disapproves of Ellie, even though she likes her.

  “She’s a shy person,” I defend.

  “I know that. It works quite nicely for you, but I want to know when you plan on telling her.”

  “Don’t say it like that.”

  “Like what?” She asks.

  “Like I’m using her personality to my advantage. I’m not using her at all.”

  My sister is quiet for a moment before she says, “You never answered my question.”

  “Soon. Did you like her or not?” My words are clipped more than I intended.

  “Hey, don’t get ill with me. You, and you alone, got yourself into this mess. I wanted to meet her so I could give you advice. Do you want to hear what I think or not?” Whitney sure isn’t one to be pushed around.

  “Fine. Go ahead.”

  “Underneath her nervous tendency and that personality of hers, which I like, is an innocent girl. That much was clear to me. This is why I’m so worried about you and this corner you’ve put yourself in, Hudson. She’s like the personification of innocence. How she made it this far in life, I don’t know. Be careful with her, okay? She might be fragile underneath. As far as the whole kissing thing, you’re going to have to be slower than slow and wait for her to make the move to let you know how to proceed. With caution,” she adds.

  “Well, thanks for your input, Whit. I really do appreciate it.”

  “You’re welcome, Hudsy.” I roll my eyes even though she can’t see me. “I got to go. I’ll talk to you soon. Love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  We hang up, and I toss my phone into the passenger seat. As my mind swirls too rapidly with all these thoughts my sister inserted, I decide that what I need tonight is to hang out with the guys. It’s a busy hockey day with working out, practice, and training. In fact, the next few days are going to be busy with back to back games. Tonight, we’re at home, but the next two are away. When I get home after today’s activities, I stop and really take in my house.

  Hockey touches every room in some way, whether it’s equipment, pictures, or trophies. As long as I keep this from Ellie, I can’t even bring her here. To my home. I sigh, shove it to the side, and take a nap before the game. It’s just the thing I need to renew me for tonight. I don’t notice a text from Ellie until I’m about to head out, but I send her a quick reply that I’m about to be busy with work.

  ~

  Tonight’s game was overloaded with energy and tension. We pulled through with a win, and now a load of us are at Jim’s. Some of the younger guys went to a club down the street, but that wasn’t the kind of mood I was in. Gerald and I are playing darts.

  “Are you ready for your interview tomorrow, your Highness?” He grins.

  “I nearly forgot to be honest.” The league wants me to do an interview with one of the reporters on the network. We’re a hot contender for the Cup this season, so as the season comes to an end, there’s going to be more publicity around those teams entering the playoffs.

  Gerald throws his dart and then looks at me. “You almost forgot? What have you been doing, man?”

  He steps aside for my turn. Simply, as if it’s not a big deal, I say, “I’ve been seeing this girl who knows nothing about hockey.”

  When I turn to look at him, his jaw is almost on the floor. “Why would you want to date a girl who doesn’t know about hockey? How does she not know?”

  “Just because it’s ingrained in our life, doesn’t mean it is in everyone else’s. Hockey is our passion, not hers. That’s all.”

  He nods and then asks with a smirk, “So what does she think about one of the league’s most famous captains?”

  “Will you quit that?” Gerald just laughs. “The point is between her and my sister getting on my case, I’ve been a little distracted.”

  Gerald’s attention piques at the mention of my sister. “What’s little Whitney King been doing to ya?”

  “Nothing I can’t handle.”

  Just then two girls walk up to us as our game of darts end. Gerald’s smile nearly overtakes his face.

  “You two play for the Portland Vikings, right?” The blonde closest to me asks. She’s looking at me like I could fulfill her every fantasy if she plays her cards just right.

  Gerald puts his arms over my shoulders. “Yes. Yes, we do, ladies. This here is our captain,” he shakes me a little, “and I just wear a little A on my jersey. Are you fans?” Gerald loves this stuff. He eats it up like it’s forbidden fruit.

  “I am,” the blonde says. “My friend is a newbie. We were at the game tonight and you two were exceptionally fabulous. It’s so great to actually meet you guys.”

  Gerald leads us over to the bar, and I spend the next hour listening to these girls flirt with us. It’s getting late. I have a busy day tomorrow, and I’m tired.

  “It was really nice to meet you. I need to go though. Have fun with Gerald.” I pay my tab and leave.

  ~

  Ellie: Want to meet for lunch?

  I barely talked to her yesterday, and I feel bad that I can’t meet her today. I did do s
omething to make up for it that she should have in about five minutes.

  Me: Sorry, I’m out of town until Monday. :/

  Ellie: Oh, okay.

  Me: We’ll have another movie night when I get back.

  She takes a couple minutes to respond.

  Ellie: Sounds perfect. :) Thank you for the flowers and chocolates!

  I wanted to send her something to surprise her and let her know that I was thinking about her.

  Me: You’re welcome. Hope you like it.

  Ellie: I love it. I better let you go…

  Me: I’ll call you when I get the chance, okay?

  Ellie: Sounds good. Travel safely. :)

  Chapter Twelve

  Ellie

  Lacey and I took the day off together. Jeffrey has been on my case making sure that I’m dressed appropriately for this dinner next month. Since I have nothing in my closet, I asked Lacey to go with me. She has great fashion sense.

  She walks into my house yelling that she’s ready to make me into a supermodel. I just roll my eyes at her.

  “Wait a second, what are these?” She points to the large dozen of roses on my counter that Hudson sent me.

  “Hudson sent them to me.” I smile brightly looking at the bright red roses.

  “Oh my God, did you have sex?” Lacey looks at me wide eyed.

  “What? No, I didn’t.” Lacey knows that I’m still a virgin, but never really teased me about it.

  “A guy doesn’t send roses like that without a little nookie for it.”

  I blush and hang my head. “Well, he did sleep in my bed the other night, but the roses are because he’s out of town for work the past couple days.”

  “Whoa, back up! Did you say he slept in your bed? And nothing happened?”

  I nod my head. “He was a perfect gentleman.”

  “That’s it.” Lacey throws her arms up in the air. “I have to meet him.”

  I laugh at her. “Come on, let’s go.” Not answering her. I grab my purse, and we head to Portland.

  The whole drive Lacey is nagging me to meet Hudson. I finally give in and tell her that I will talk to him about it. We head straight for downtown Portland where all the dress stores are. I took money out of my savings, but I still don’t have a lot to spend. I’m hoping to find something that will work.

  Shop after shop we look for the perfect dress for me. Nothing seems to work, though. It’s either too long, too short, or just the wrong color. I’m exhausted, and I know Lacey is too. I follow Lacey into the next shop and hopefully the last one. I just want to find a nice dress that won’t make me look a tramp. When we walk into the store, every dress is glittery and it smells like fresh flowers.

  “Lacey,” I whisper. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a store this fancy before.

  “I know we will find something for you in here.” Lacey goes straight for the evening dresses.

  I follow her while gazing at everything around me. Every color of the rainbow is in this store. Every possible material too. I look at the far back wall and see a hundred pair of shoes. On the left side is every accessory that you can imagine.

  I hear Lacey gasp. “I found it.” She rushes up to me, grabs my arm, and pushes me into a fitting room with a mass of material.

  “Try that on,” she orders.

  I look down at the dark purple dress in my hands. I begin taking off my clothes to try on the dress. When I slip it on and zip it up, I stare at myself in the mirror. I can’t believe it’s me that I’m looking at. The deep purple dress stops a couple inches above my knees. It hugs my hips and breasts perfectly. One side has a complete sleeve, while the other is bare. Every time I move, it shimmers in the light.

  “I need to see it,” Lacey yells out, bringing me out of my trance. I open the door, and her mouth drops open. “Here,” she shoves shoes at me, “put those on.” I slip on the heels that match the dress perfectly. “Here,” she clasps a bracelet on my bare arm, and then puts two clips in my hair. She spins me around to the large three-way mirror, where I can feel the tears building as I look at myself. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so pretty.

  “You have to get this dress.” Lacey stands behind me.

  “Is there anything I can help you ladies with?” An older lady comes up and asks.

  “Um, how much is all of this?” I ask sheepishly.

  “The dress, shoes, and accessories should be right around five thousand dollars.”

  My mouth drops and I can’t even form a word. Five thousand dollars. That’s insane, I could never afford this. I look in the mirror one more time, and my heart breaks. I feel fabulous in this dress, but I would have to sell a kidney to be able to wear it outside this store.

  “Thanks, I’ll just take it off.” I tell the clerk. She smiles and turns back to the counter.

  “What? No way, you’re getting this.” Lacey crosses her arms at me.

  “Lace, this is five thousand dollars. I don’t have it. I don’t even have half of it.”

  “Fine, we’ll just put it on my credit card, and you can pay me back.”

  “Are you insane? There is no way I’m letting you do that. Besides it would take me two years to pay it back. I don’t see Jeffrey giving me a raise anytime soon.” I turn away from her going back into the fitting room.

  I very carefully take off the dress, shoes, and jewelry. As I’m removing the dress, a few tears fall. Why am I so upset about a stupid dress? I look at it again. The shining embellishments twinkle under the light. I touch the material one more time and leave. Lacey complains the whole way back to my house. I let her go on because there’s no way I’m letting her pay for that outfit.

  “I’ll find something else.” I tell her as she drops me off.

  I go into my house and get ready to cook dinner. Hudson is supposed to be here soon. He just got back into town this morning, and we are going to watch the next movie in the collection. I’m still upset about the whole dress shopping that I don’t even feel like cooking. I call a local pizza parlor and order a couple of pizzas. I’m not sure how long Hudson will be so I give him a quick call.

  “How close are you?” I ask.

  “I’m a few minutes away. Why?”

  “Would you mind grabbing the pizzas? I don’t feel like cooking. I just ordered them and they should be ready when you get there.”

  “No problem. I’ll see you in a few.”

  When I hang up, I flop down on my couch. Why the heck am I so upset about a dress? I mean, it’s a dress. I sit there sulking over some man made material and sequins, when I hear a knock on my door. I didn’t even realize that I had sat there that long. I get up to let Hudson in.

  “Hey.” He leans in, kisses my cheek, and heads off to the kitchen with the pizzas. He isn’t wearing a jacket, and his muscles are bulging through his t-shirt. He must be really working out more.

  I follow him into the kitchen and grab a couple of plates. Hudson puts the pizzas on the counter, then heads to the fridge to grab a couple waters. It’s nice that he feels so comfortable in my house.

  “Hey, why the long face?” He sets the waters down and pulls me close to him. I lay my head on his chest, and wrap my arms around him. It’s something that I don’t normally do, but I feel safe in his arms.

  “It’s silly. It’s really nothing.” I try to keep the sadness out of my voice.

  “Look at me,” he gently orders. I look up at him. “What is it?”

  I step out of his arms and lean against the counter. I run my fingers through my hair and take a deep breath. “I have this big company dinner next month, and I have to dress all fancy for it. So, today Lacey went with me into the city to help me find something.”

  “Did you find something? Something you could model for me?” He winks at me.

  “Um, we were downtown at this little shop on Main Street, and I found the perfect dress. But I didn’t get it.” I look down at the floor.

  “Why not? I thought if it’s the perfect dream dress, then most girls have to
have it.” He chuckles.

  “I couldn’t afford it. Even with the money I took out of my savings account. It was five thousand dollars with everything included. Lacey even offered to buy it and I told her absolutely not.” I look up at him, and he has a small smile on his face. “I guess it’s silly, huh?” I feel the lump in my throat, and the tears welling up.

  Hudson walks over to me and kisses my cheek. “I don’t think it’s silly at all. My sister once cried over a pair of shoes that broke. Trust me, I understand. Plus, I bet you were stunning in that dress.”

  I look into his beautiful eyes and see his sincerity. I felt better telling him, and I’m glad he didn’t make fun of me. I stand up straighter, my lips almost touching his and softly kiss him. Then I kiss him again, this time a little harder. My heart speeds up as I open my mouth. He drives his tongue into my mouth, and I grip his neck tightly.

  I can feel my body heat rising as he wraps his one arm around my waist, and the other holds the back of my neck. His hard body is pressing against me, and I don’t feel like pushing him away. Hudson moves from my lips to my neck. I moan and arch my body to him.

  Hudson stops. He moves his hands from me, placing them on either side of the counter. He looks deep into my eyes, as we both try to calm our breathing.

  “Sorry, I was getting carried away.” He gives me a small apologetic smile.

  I think my hormones took over my logical thinking, because I didn’t want him to say that he’s sorry, I want him to kiss me. Instead of reading my mind, he heads over to the pizza and fixes a plate.

  “Want to eat while we watch the movie?” He suggests.

  I nod, as I fix myself a plate. We head into the living room, and he starts the second DVD of the series. We sit on the couch, eating, and watching the movie. We don’t say anything because we’re so engrossed in the movie. Just like the first one, I like the second.

  “Hate to say this.” Hudson stands. “I have to leave tonight. But.” He reaches for my hand. I take it and he pulls me up. “I’ll be back tomorrow night. Okay?”

  I smile at him. “Perfect.”

  He leans in and kisses me. I’m enjoying the way his lips feel on mine. I walk him to the door and watch him get into his truck.